Beauty Tips for the Sweaty and Slovenly

ain’t nobody got time for that shit anyway

Tica Women Are Beautiful.

It’s impossible to not notice the abundant displays of feminine beauty in Costa Rica.  In every town, in every campo, every neighborhood, every everywhere, gorgeous Costa Rican women abound.  Their hair is thick and lustrous.  Their skin appears flawless, with or without makeup.  Nails: Immaculate.  Feet: Pedicured.  Accessories: On.

How do they do it?

I don’t know!  

They won’t tell me!

If you find out, tell me so we’ll both know!

I’m about to be 45 years old.  I’m melanin-challenged with sensitive skin that somehow manages to be too oily and too dry at the same time.  Years spent fighting acne and trying to make my straight hair curly have exhausted me.  I’M DONE, SON! 

Plus it’s hot, and I’m sweaty.  Makeup in Costa Rica is a non-starter because I’ll sweat most of it off within the hour, and that’s gross.  I already ruined my favorite white t-shirt. 

No mas!

Here’s what I do instead: