Why We're Doing This

Lots of people, both in the USA and Costa Rica, ask us, "Why are you doing this?" and "Have you lost your mind?"

The answers are both simpler and more complex than you might guess.

There are lots of reasons my husband and I decided to leave the rat race of corporate America and live as sweaty, sunburned gringos in the land of Pura Vida.

Let me set the stage for you.

We were living in a big, empty house in Seattle.  All 4 daughters had launched into their college and adult lives, so our nest was officially empty.  We were deeply unhappy.

Neither of us ever *wanted* to be in the Pacific Northwest, in spite of the many great things on offer there.  We were there out of kid-related necessity.  Both of us grew up in hot climates, and we struggled to get throught the long, grey winters.  Seasonal Affective Disorder turned into It's Grey and Cold All the Time Disorder.  The struggle is real.

Living in the suburbs, commuting to a job I had grown to hate with the fiery passion of a thousand suns, and being cooped up all the time was seriously wearing on my last good nerve.  The sky, the water, the pavement, and my ass were all the same shade of grey.

Furthermore, our living situation didn't support the simplified, authentic lifestyle I wanted to lead.  I stongly disagree with the way most of corporate America is set up - undercutting our financial and personal independence at every turn.  Gas, commute, work for a soulless corporation, commute, bills, more bills, and then some bills, and commute again.  The system is designed to keep people locked into a destructive cycle of unhealthy, consuming desperation.

Plus, everyone was getting rich off me, except me!

And I resented it mightily.

So, on one magical day, we decided to step off the treadmill ... divest ourselves of our earthly belongings ... and Start Over.

We have been traveling around Costa Rica, bumbling and stumbling, slowly learning Spanish and eatng lots of beans and rice a little over 18 months now, with no regrets.

And to  everyone wondering if I lost my mind, I say, "No, I finally found it."

Study the Verbs

Buenos Dias, Familia de Blog.

Lately, I haven't been writing due to a combination of circumstances that would be very boring to list, so instead, let us contemplate the beauty of the Blue Morpho.

Let us review our Spanish conjugations, and be at peace with all 18 of them.

Let us contemplate the ineffable, and see if we might eff it after all.   (Hat Tip to Douglas Adams)

Above all, let us listen, groove, shake, bounce, and strut to the mighty sounds of South Aftica's Laura Mvula.

Although she is not Costa Rican and has no Costa Rican ties to my knowledge, I ran across the video while relaxing in San Jose, CR, so there you go.  Beautiful things can happen when you're tranquilo.  (But still, study the verbs.)

Pura Vida!

A New Year's Faux Pas

Happy New Butt Hole!

There is a critical difference in the Spanish words "Ano" and "Año."

All the best to you and yours!

Feliz Navidad - A New Christmas Story from Expats in Costa Rica

'Twas the night before Christmas and down at the beach

Not a creature was stirring, not a mall within reach.

No stockings were hung and nobody cared

To see old Saint Nick sporting swimwear.

The children all grown and gone on with their lives,

While we are perfecting our backflipping dives.

Your Mum in her bikini and I in my shorts

Just settled in for an evening of sports.

When out on the ocean there arose such a clatter

I grabbed my binoculars to see what's the matter

On top of the table I jumped in a flash

To see if some dummies got into a crash.

The moon on the crest of the new breaking waves

Reminded me of drinks I started to crave

When what to my wondering eye should appear

But a well-balanced tray with delicious cold beer.

I grabbled a new bottle of Imperial

Happy to know there is plenty for all.

Mum hooted and hollered and smacked my butt -

Feliz Navidad! and Feliz Coconuts!

Beauty Tips for the Sweaty and Slovenly

ain’t nobody got time for that shit anyway

Tica Women Are Beautiful.

It’s impossible to not notice the abundant displays of feminine beauty in Costa Rica.  In every town, in every campo, every neighborhood, every everywhere, gorgeous Costa Rican women abound.  Their hair is thick and lustrous.  Their skin appears flawless, with or without makeup.  Nails: Immaculate.  Feet: Pedicured.  Accessories: On.

How do they do it?

I don’t know!  

They won’t tell me!

If you find out, tell me so we’ll both know!

I’m about to be 45 years old.  I’m melanin-challenged with sensitive skin that somehow manages to be too oily and too dry at the same time.  Years spent fighting acne and trying to make my straight hair curly have exhausted me.  I’M DONE, SON! 

Plus it’s hot, and I’m sweaty.  Makeup in Costa Rica is a non-starter because I’ll sweat most of it off within the hour, and that’s gross.  I already ruined my favorite white t-shirt. 

No mas!

Here’s what I do instead: 

Honeymoon in Costa Rica, or The Adventure Begins

Seattle,  2014.

We are planning OUR WEDDING!

Fancy dresses for me and our four daughters!  My hot husband in a dashing tuxedo, looking like a magazine cover!  An epic party with all our friends and families!

Fancy food!  Fancy drinks served in fancy glasses!

FLOWERS EVERYWHERE!

And it only costs a bazillion dollars and your first born child!  Um, no.

Ahem.

Planning, shall we say, is not my strong suit.

As I started investigating All The Things, the first thing I noticed was the expense.

It was … sobering.

Thousands of dollars for a poofy dress to wear ONCE?  Most of these dresses cost more than my first car!  Matter of fact, most of them cost more than my CURRENT car, and I wear her every day!

And I have to buy four more dresses for our bridesmaid daughters?  Seriously?  Four girls, four different personalities, opinions, and complexions -  united only in the guarantee to hate anything I pick.

A VENUE.  We didn't reserve a venue a year in advance, and it would be $900 just to get a room at the library for a few hours.  And the park?  Nuh-uh.  All the spaces are already reserved!  Shoulda booked last year!

The stuff!  Flowers and centerpieces and gifts and photography and accessories and invitations and postage and a quadrillion other things I've never heard of or thought about.  To this day, I STILL don't understand "chair swag."  Or why a table might wear a skirt.

It would make a saint cuss.  And I ain't a saint.

As my fiancé and I looked over the budget, nausea rose and my eyes started to gently cross.

"To hell with this," I said, "Let's spend the money on our honeymoon!"

"Works for me," he said.